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12/01/2003 Entry: "Weekend of Complements"

This weekend brought two complements from people I respect. One said that I am probably responsible for her to take up writing again, and another asked for my opinion (more of a reassurance) on a very heavy matter, and said I had helped her for many years (when I was always under the impression I was just goofing off). The second I have been requested not to talk about it on my blog until later this month, but those on the FanTek list already may have an idea what it's about.

Because it was the Thanksgiving weekend, I sort of let slide my new way of eating, but only just a bit. It was also kind of an experiment, and I found out this morning I neither gained or lost weight, but I have this "feeling" that this would have been a "gain weight" period in my previous fluctuations. I am not that concerned about my weight as I should be, but it's kind of a nice perk to know I have a sense of self-control over this issue. For instance, I used to just gobble food. This was a bad habit I got from retail, where a "lunch break" just meant "I will be in one spot for a while with food." You just learn to pack food down as quickly as possible to get back to work. Now I eat a little, wait a little. I eat a lot less this way, and don't have as many stomach ailments. I also was "tempted" with a food I like, but I am allergic to: pizza. Actually, it's not the pizza itself, but a lot of what goes in it. I suspect it's a combo of grease and poor quality meat, and a few years ago, I found pizza and I had this dangerous love-hate relationship when I loved to eat it, and hated how I felt (physically, not mentally) afterwards. I really wanted it something bad, but abstained from it, even though it meant I had to leave the room. It made the people who DID eat it sick, and if they got sick, I would have surely been very ill indeed. I was also tempted with donuts, and I spent 4 days dreaming of eating them, so I finally just got a dozen, split them with my family, and ate 6. I also ate a large chocolate bar because I was severely depressed due to a series of bad dreams that culminated in one HUGE one Saturday night. This was, by far, the most traumatic dream I have had in a long time, and that includes the bad dreams I was getting while under a different migraine medication (they changed the meds, the dreams stopped). I can't even speak of it, but it's apparent I have a lot to work about my past.

On Sunday, we got a family photo done! We haven't had one done in ... gosh, 8 years. I have one in my wallet from when CR was 5. Christine has always been resistant to have a group photo done, but this time our local Petco was having a "Take Holiday Photos with Your Pets" special for $35 + $5 sitting fee. So we have a new family photo of ourselves with our two dogs, which some of you will get with our Christmas cards this year. We also got cute pictures of Ahfu and Widget by themselves. They have been scanned, but they came out real dark for some reason. Once I touch them up, I'll put them here, too. They are so cute!

Christine beat me to the punch, and made a website of my birthday party.

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