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09/22/2003 Entry: "Ghosts from the Past - Around the Table We Shall Kill"

"NO NO NO!!! DIE DIE DIE!!! KILL HIM! He's getting away!"

"No," I said, "I think he's dead..."

"No he's not!" said Kate. "I don't trust him!"

"'Aw think she's dayd.'" quoted Julie in a deep voice from the Monty Python version of "The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots."

"'No ah'm nawt!'" said Ellen, finishing the quote with a high falsetto voice.

I watched the people around me repeatedly bash and stab the dead body of their nemesis, "Bizzodd," because none of them believed he could die unless they smashed every tiny bone in his body, burnt the remnants, and poured holy water on the ashes. Around the table were several people, all teens, who would later go on to become professors of medieval science and astronomy, a stay-at-home mom, a biochemist, a Navy Seal, and a computer geek.

"I swear to you guys," I tried to assure them, "he's dead. I know, I'm the DM." I went to put away my gaming screen. I knew the game was over, but I had built up such an animosity towards one of the great NPCs of my time, the players didn't want it to end. They wanted to kill the son-of-a-bitch some more.

"You could be lying!" said Kate, who actually saw me lie a few times back in those days. "Ow!" she screamed, because her long frizzy hair caught in the zipper of my gaming bag. Maybe on purpose.

It was the Last Great Game of our gaming group. It was JulieCon II, and it was time to kill Bizzodd. See, Bizzodd was this Drow elf, which makes no sense if you didn't play AD&D back then, but just think of him and a black-skinned, pointy-eared, silver-haired, and most terribly annoying enemy. For years, he'd show up at the WORST places, throw a knife at one of them, and vanish. He also got involved with every enemy they ever fought, stole stuff all the time, and was such an annoying pest they couldn't kill, that just mentioning his name made some of my players grit their teeth. He also had "minions," like "Robbie the Rust Monster," a Rust Monster who would follow you like a puppy, "Rarr Squoot," an annoying toadie who wasn't good at taunts but was too stupid to know it ("You guys smell like... fat cows, you do! Nyyyaaah!"), and "Wagotron," a wood golem that transformed into an ox cart, making my players very suspicious of all ox carts. The whole weekend of JulieCon II was one great game where they had to hunt down Bizzodd and kill him. I have never had a more animated game... ever.

I always smile when I think of my last gaming group. And recently, I have been asked to start the rusty gears of gaming again. I haven't set my eyes on these books for... ages. As I unzipped my gaming bag, strands of Kate's long blond hair were still there. I had forgotten how mad she got, but she shouldn't have stuck her face in my secret gaming stuff! Julie and Ellen were convinced Bizzodd wasn't really dead, and I must admit, I was entertaining the idea of him coming back as a Shade, but then came our senior year, and then life...

Christine set up a group for this Thursday. It has me, her, CR, Sara, and possibly Rogue if her cold gets better. Brad may join us next Thursday. It's an experiment, a geeky one, but an experiment nonetheless.

Can I DM again? Who knows. Will Bizzodd come back? Oh yes. Yes yes yes.

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