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08/06/2003 Entry: "Ch-Ch-Changes..." Well, one change is I have decided (for now) to deal with the tech-heavy/fluffy-journal split in my writing to have the fluff here, and my tech journal on Slashdot. I have already reflected this in my menubar up top. But, more news. Layoffs. At work. Soon. I have this "No Doom Zone" poster on my door to prevent people from coming in and discussing things I cannot control, like layoffs and upper management changes. But that never stops people via IM, e-mail, or stopping me in the hall. Latest rumor is that it's sooner than normal (layoffs usually occur September-ish and January-ish), in fact one particularly bitter and paranoid person has given me the "doom date" as August 15th. He's also telling people from 5-25% layoffs at first, then 50% later. Later would probably be the January sweep. Honestly, the only way they could trim down our department is to outsource it. That *is* possible (not advisable, but possible nonetheless). After all, we test networks in the United States, so we can't really feasibly send this whole department to India. They could decide not to test networks anymore, which would be VERY dumb, but I have seen dumber. I was once laid off because of my position on a spreadsheet (cell E15, I think it was). This company also decided that everything could be run by part-time employees (to avoid having to give insurance, which was legal back then), turning everything into a franchise, and that decision nearly killed the company. They (the company's owners) finally rendered this guy useless by giving him an executive vice presidential position, and he's still there to this day. A few years ago, we merged with another big company. This big company has a history of bad decisions, and the primary reason they were so ready for a buyout is that despite the good economy of the time, they were losing money in the billions. But now their management has become our management with some smooth moves, and they are doing the same thing ... all over again. Like before, to buy something, I needed my boss's approval. Now, just to buy a $30 book, I need no less than 7 signatures. Seven! My boss, his boss, the boss about him, and then some vice-bosses with no real job description but fancy vague titles like "IT Infrastructure Vice Manager of Operations." We have a LOT of "dotted line" bosses in upper management. Of course, since a lot of these upper management types don't actually do any work, I can never get anything approved. We used to have a blank check when it came to hardware. "Dialer broke? Get it fixed." Now it's "Dialer broke? Define dialer. What's broke? Can we reassign other dialers to compensate? No? Okay, seven people need to approve this new 'hard drive?' Is that what it's called?" Then the order disappears into a fog, like the Mary Celeste, never to be seen again. I once had to spell "router" to an on-call tech. Anyway, I hate the speculation and waiting. Work slows to a crawl. People get nervous, and I can't focus on what I need to do because everyone's talking, speculating, worrying ... and you know me and worrying! I start taking toys home, trying to adapt to a "one box" rule from days of old: "Never have more on your desk that you can carry away in one box... when you get laid off, you are not allowed back for a second trip." On the plus side, the techs are the last they get rid of. Most people that get the ax are marketing and production. Producers have such liquid jobs, often, they don't have anything on their desks because they come and go so fast. Unless you can PROVE that what you produce is vital, you are expendable. Marketing is all smoke and mirrors anyway; Madison Avenue has known that its inception. So add more smoke, take away more mirrors. No one will see the difference. Next is customer service. That's so unfair. Unfair for the CSRs and the customer. But customer service is considered by many to be the most expensive with the least amount of provable value under production and marketing. Last is the opportunistic layoffs. This gives the opportunity for people to be laid off under a blanket that conceals what is probably the real reason: they cost too much or just "don't fit in." Boss likes muscular young men that remind him of football players? Bye-bye, fat nerdy girl. So long dude with the overbite. Sorry. Nothing personal. "You were just cut for cost-cutting measures." Then discretely hire frat buddy. I have often wondered, "Okay, if I was laid off right now, how would I cope?" Badly. No, I guess it depends on two factors: one, severance, and two, how quickly I got another job that paid the same or better. Part of my problem is that from March 1991 - March 1993, I was unemployed for two years (almost to the date). I fear going back to that. My inability to get a job cost us more than just money, we lost nearly everything. We got evicted and we had to live in the projects until 1996. We couldn't even afford to declare bankruptcy because we didn't have enough money for attorney fees. I starved to my family could eat, bill collectors called daily (when my phone wasn't cut off), and I spent most of the day depressed out of my mind. So you can see why I fear unemployment. The last guy I knew who got unemployed did get a two-month severance package from this company, so that would buy me some time. I could cut off my phone (do only cell phones), cable (unlike Reston, we do get TV channels here), and some other "la-dee-da" items. I think I'd stave a little smarter this time around; I got too fat eating all those noodles, tuna, day-old bread, and Kool-aid (I am NEVER going to drink that stuff again if I can help it). I'd approach employment in two ways. First, the "regular job" I would be trying to get to replace what I did. I'd do another "Job Journal," which is a notebook that records who you called, what they said, and keeps tabs on who to follow up with. I found it a great source of comfort at times, especially when I got a job, and could count that I had applied to some 400 jobs in 2 years (which was impressive), 100 which got interviews in person, had 6 positive leads, and finally one got me the job. I also learned that newspapers are useless for jobs, really. I never got a good job that way, I always got them because I knew someone who knew someone. I have a SLEW of positive references, both from friends and former employers. I know I'd get one from here in a snap. Second, I'd jump-start my writing career. After all, what to do between interviews? And when you think about it, it was only BECAUSE I was unemployed all those years ago that I was able to write and get a book published. And when I got sick of writing for the moment? I'd learn a new computer skill, thanks to the wonder of the Internet. But lastly, I hope I don't flip out. I flip out easily. I think it's because, growing up, there was never any stability, and predicting "the worst" was all I had to judge how long I would fall at any given moment. This made me a pessimist, constant worrier, and gives me a weird panic threshold. I flip out far earlier than most, but when things REALLY get bad, and we're talking being in an airplane in a nose dive or attacked by a tiger, here, I am remarkably calm. Hell, I hope I don't flip out now!