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03/06/2003 Entry: "Moderating Panels in Fandom"
I posted on BWSMOF a sort of gag about being a moderator, and I wanted to share it with the rest of you See, there have been times, as a moderator, I have had to wrestle the control back from one or more audience members. It's not easy. I mean, sometimes you want to scream, "Shut your bloody gob!" but that's not polite or friendly. It's like: Fanboy: [raises hand]
Panelist: You have a question about female authors?
Fanboy: Yes, how come there are so many lesbians in science fiction?
Panelist: Er, well, I don't know, I have never counted.
Fanboy: There are approximately 226!
Panelist: Characters or authors?
Fanboy: Both.
Panelist: Interesting. I don't know. Next?
Congoer: I was wondering if you have read Marion Zimmer Bradley's piece on--
Fanboy: There's another Lesbian! See?
Panelist: Congoer was asking a question, please wait your turn.
Fanboy: You never answered mine!
Panelist: I did, and I said I didn't know.
Fanboy: Then why are you on this panel?
Moderator: I think this discussion on sexual preference has ended. He is on this panel because he's an editor for a science fiction magazine which recently posted its "Ten Great Women Authors of Science Fiction" article to much acclaim.
Fanboy: Then how come he didn't know there were 226 lesbians?
Moderator: He does not have to account for his lack of knowledge on the sexual preference on anybody, this is a topic about female authors.
Fanboy: All lesbians *are* female.
Panelist: So are pregnant people. I am not discussing pregnant authors, either.
Fanboy: Lesbians can't get pregnant!
Moderator: Congoer, what was your question again?
Congoer: I have... uh, forgotten.
Fanboy: I have one!
Moderator: Is it about lesbians?
Fanboy: Not exactly... Then there are those who talk and talk and talk... there's one guy, I won't name because I like him, but he's often on panels. But when he's on a panel, the panel becomes all him. Same if he's an audience member. The trouble with him is not that he's dull or arrogant, but so damn interesting that no one can bear to hijack the panel back on topic. The places he's worked or lived in, the people he's met, and so on. When I have done programming, I always put him on a panel alone, because no one else at the table will get a chance to speak (and, thankfully, no one seems to complain, either).
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